The compatibility between the courtly love of the Middle Ages and Christianity is somewhat vague, if it even exists at all. The most Christian element of courtly love is that it revolves around love itself. Love is one of the key elements of the Bible, if not the most important. Jesus Christ said that God loves the world enough to sacrifice his son (John 3:16). The Apostle John said that God is love (I John 4:16). Paul said that of faith, hope, and love – the most important is love (I Corinthians). The incompatibility between courtly love and Christianity does not come from both encompassing love, but how love is perceived. The Bible teaches love as a growing characteristic that dwells between God, people, family, friends, and even enemies. A summary of Christian love is that it motivates people to change and become more like Christ.
Courtly love is different. The first major difference is that it can only exist between a male and female. According to the Rules of Courtly Love by Andreas Capellanus, courtly loves causes jealousy, emotional instability, necessity to be covert, and perhaps adultery. This is where courtly love and Christianity conflict. Jealousy is considered an act of sinful nature by the Bible (Galatians 5:20), and adultery and coveting are prohibited in the Ten Commandments (Exodus 20). However the Rules of Courtly Love are not the only examples of courtly love that conflict with Christianity.
In Sir Gawain and the Green Knight, Sir Gawain struggles with the system of courtly love when he deals with the wife of Bercilak. The lady offers herself to Gawain by saying “My body is here at hand, your each wish to fulfill” while Bercilak is off hunting deer. Although the first rule of courtly love says “Marriage is no real excuse for not loving” and that it would be okay for Gawain to commit adultery with Bercilak’s lady, Gawain is a Christian knight and is forbidden to think of such an affair. Gawain respects the marriage between Bercilak and his lady, despite lying to him about the girdle she gives him.
Sir Gawain and the Green Knight does not entirely glamorize courtly love, but rather shows the conflict between courtly love and Christianity. The Canterbury Tales also displays the conflict, if not at a greater extent. Two tales deal specifically with the concept of love: the Wife of Bath’s tale and the Franklin’s tale. The Wife of Bath tells the Host and the others about her opinions that to love and marry a lot of people is okay, just as she had loved five husbands and was looking for a sixth. The Franklin tells a tale about the sanctity of marriage and how a devoted husband or wife is better than any quick affair.
The Wife of Bath during her prologue specifically uses points from the Bible showing that it supports multiple marriages. She reminds the people that God commanded to increase and multiply (Genesis 9:7), that Paul said “it is better to marry than burn” (I Corinthians 7:9), and she lists examples of Biblical people who had multiple wives. When she tells her tale, the subject of the tale is a knight that falls very short of Gawain. This knight first gets into trouble when he rapes a maiden – a very non-chivalric thing to do. After being spared by the queen, sent on a quest, and being forced to marry the woman who saved his life, he dishonors his wife by saying she is old and poor. She then gives the knight a choice – whether she should be faithful or whether she should be beautiful. The knight returns the choice to his wife and she becomes young, beautiful, and faithful. Faithfulness is a trait to be admired, even by the Wife of Bath.
The Franklin’s Tale specifically deals with courtly love. His story opens with the sweet romance between a knight, Arveragus, and his lady, Dorigen. They marry and a year later, the knight must go off to fight, which leads to Dorigen being courtly loved by a squire, Aurelius. Although Rules of Courtly Love say that it’s okay for a woman to be loved by two men, Dorigen insists on being faithful to her husband and when her husband returns, she tells him what has happened. The two live happily ever after and the tale shows that an honest, faithful marriage is better than a courtly affair.
Courtly love somewhat still exists today. There of course is a new term for it – having an affair. It’s glamorized by the media, the soap operas, and the novels, just as it was glamorized back in the Middle Ages. Despite its glamour, the flaws of courtly love are revealed today just as they were hundreds of years ago. A good honest marriage has always works best, no matter what century you live in.